The Great Sins

What should every Evil Overlord not do, you may be wondering. One might expect it is just another list of Hero traits; that, however, is only slightly correct. Though there is absolutely no reason to trust my generosity (quite the opposite, actually), I will regardless offer advice on avoiding the sins some Evil Overlords commit. These atrocious crimes are an insult to Evil Overlords everyone, and must be avoided for the sake of all that megalomaniacs love hate enjoy.

Selflessness – This disgusting, loathsome, vile, uncouth, barbaric, idiotic concept is not only parasitic but just plain unnatural. As with the general philosophy of “if you’re reading this, you’re a genius already” it is blatantly clear that your life is more valuable than any other life (besides mine!). So why should you go out of your way for no chance of gain? And don’t give me nonsense about how helping someone for no reason now may mean they will help you later; that means there may be a gain, so there is a logical reason for someone as smart as an Evil Overlord to do it.

Compassion – Caring, loving, empathy, trust, all naught but hollow, empty words similar to the minds of most modern humans. If such emotions were normal, why do animals so rarely express them outside their family, let alone their species? Nay, I proclaim; these foul concepts act as naught but a burden upon the progress of our civilization. The encumbrance upon even the greatest of minds by such irrational emotions is a pox upon all who wish to have more in life than just existence!

Originality – Similar to individuality, what annoys the population more than originality? You must blend in with them. Pretend to be an idiot, talk all day about the niceties of social life and such hollow, narrow minded values as mortal possessions. Besides, if it worked for the last Evil Overlord, then it will work for you, right?

WRONG! Trick statement. Originality isn’t a sin, obviously. If it really had worked for the last Evil Overlord, then you would be too busy working in his/her wheat mines to think about becoming his/her heir. Remember, comrades, you must be inventive, not only innovative. Everyone in history did it wrong.

Teamwork – On a less sarcastic note, let us now examine teamwork. Well, an assumption can be made that you’re genius enough to read this, so it is fair to say that a majority of the population is, on an overall basis, dumber than you. So why should you let them mooch of you like a forty year old in his mother’s house? But wait, you say; what about those smarter than us who would be useful as partners? Well, there is a very simple explanation. They’re smart, thus they’re manipulative, and so they only want to use you for personal gain. And that, aspiring Evil Overlords, is why teamwork is a sin.

Mercy – I’ll let you figure it out on your own. Analyze the following picture, and make an assumption on what you should do, and what it might have done that gave it a reason to plea.

Here’s a hint anyway: “To the dungeons with the hideous whelp!

 
 www.despair.com  Quite funny - Check it out!