S C H E M E S
“Failing to plan is planning to fail.”
What is more important to succeeding in whatever your goals may be than having a decent plan? Unlike an idiotic hero, you will form long term plans beyond the invasion of one country. Unlike a moronic vindicator, you will establish your tainted justice through both military might and various articulated orations. Coincidentally, nothing amuses me more than guiding a young, aspiring pup so that I might later crush them when they become a challenge. And so I will offer advice on developing a scheme of your very own.
OBJECTIVE – First, it is important to know your exact goal. To outline what has already been stated in previous writings, something along the lines of the following will work well:
1. Enslave humanity.
2. Accomplish a bit more at life than working at McDonalds.
3. Keep “good” and “evil” in balance… Nerd.
4. Share the sadness.
5. Destroy the earth.
REASON – An important facet to being a tyrant is being logical. Do things with reason, even if you have to bend the truth a bit. Excuses are important.
1. Luxury.
2. Victory.
3. Power.
4. My philosophy.
5. Revenge.
6. Science.
7. Love (Haha… Just joking)
8. Neglected.
9. Hatred of humans.
10. Insanity.
11. To taste the red mist just “one” more time
UNO – Moving forward from all the repetitive rambling, it’s time to devise the first part of your diabolical scheme to accomplish whatever for whatever reason. Select a verb and noun from below.
Verb:
1. Coerce.
2. Ransom.
3. Devour.
4. Blackmail.
5. Bribe.
6. Microwave.
7. Inhibit.
Noun:
1. Canada.
2. Military leader.
3. US President.
4. Batman.
5. Monarch.
6. Those who once trusted you.
7. Glugmaha, lord of tikis.
DUO – Progress has been achieved already. Don’t give up yet. Let the emotions drain away, it makes it easier.
Verb:
1. Invade.
2. Appease.
3. Extol.
4. Refurbish.
5. Cleanse.
6. Contaminate.
7. Masticate.
Noun:
1. The internet.
2. Europe.
3. The moon.
4. The earth.
5. Canada.
6. That opera house in Australia
7. The people who think they’re ‘ghetto’
FINALE – Time for the finishing blow. Don’t falter, and don’t forget to wash behind your ears.
Verb:
1. Unveil.
2. Unleash.
3. Activate.
4. Brag about.
5. Establish.
6. Smuggle.
7. Discard.
Noun:
1. Host of minions.
2. Biological weapons.
3. Scary statue.
4. Society defining magazine.
5. Ability to cause cancer.
6. Cure for cancer.
7. Unoriginal new religion.
And, just for spice, choose a random word or phrase.
1. Insanity.
2. Parasites.
3. Hatred.
4. Bunnies.
5. Teachers.
6. Myself.
7. Insert lover’s name.
8. Insert enemy’s name.
9. The Spice Girls.
10. Agony.
11. Terror.
12. Power Rangers.
13. Allergies.
14. Propaganda.
15. Guile.
16. Steroids.
17. Parents.
18. Ridicule.
Now put it all together, throwing in a few articles as needed:
I, name, have devised a scheme to objective because (…) reason. First, I will verb 1 (a) noun 1. Next, without hesitation, I will verb 2 all of noun 2 as many times as needed. Last, I will cackle maniacally as I verb 3 my precious noun 3. And all this is thanks to random word! |
